We're Potty Ready. Too Bad Brigid Isn't

I truly believe we have the world's most stubborn kids. Each of them, in their own unique way, have displayed a their ability to dig in their heels on various subjects. But we've met our match in Brigid. She has absolutely refused -- at 3 and a quarter years old -- to have anything to do with the potty. She doesn't much like having a diaper on, and will take it off herself when it's offensive (thank goodness it hasn't been full) but refuses vehemently to use the potty. She wants to wear "big girl underwear" (or wonderwear, as she calls it) but as soon as the urge arises, she demands a diaper. She says she's a big girl, and even acknowledges big girls sit on the potty, but when we question her about this dichotomy, she back peddles and says she's a big-little girl.

We never pushed the girls on potty readiness. Each of them had reached their third birthday and then, voila! They decided it was time. Brigid finds it intrusive to even be asked if she wants to sit on the potty. She has a potty seat, she has a seat that fits on the big potty that she helped pick out. She has pretty princess wonderwear. What she doesn't have is the interest. You don't want to get in a shouting match or force a child to use the potty. God knows we have to start a fund for our children's psychiatric care when they get older. I don't want to tip the scales even further by forcing our BB to use the potty. But come on. When she is wearing her wonderware, she says it feels good. But it must feel better to be able to squat someplace and just let it go.

Jack brought the girls up to the lake yesterday and when they got home after dinner, Brigid was all excited to tell me about her day. She did so in great detail. Once again, I'm struck by how much her vocabulary and exploded. She's using complex sentences and proper grammar. She said they went swimming in the lake and went on the jet ski and she rode on Firefly, Kita and Dexter. She had hot dogs and cauliflower and dessert. "It was fun," she pronounced. It sure sounds like it. I was hoping we might be able to force the potty issue this summer by just letting her run around in her underwear and telling her the diaper truck broke down. She's very savvy -- you go buy some, Mommy, she says. She's no dummy.

Margaret and Patricia are in the second week of summer safari, rehearsing for their production of "Godspell." They're having a great time and looking forward to performing next week. The day after their performance, we head to the Cape. Now that's something I'm looking forward to. Do big girls use the potty on Cape Cod?

Everything Looks Better in the Morning

Brigid is 3 years, 4 months (yesterday) and already she has mastered the technique for gaining sympathy and hopefully a full night in the big bed by saying she's sick. Last night (and a few other nights previously) when it was time for her to go to bed, she started whimpering and moaning, "I'm sick. I'm sick, Mommy. I'm frowing up." (I assure you, she was not). When I didn't respond the way she wanted me to -- whisking her up in my arms and taking her into our bed -- she moaned, "I'm sick. I need to sleep in the big bed." I channeled my own mother and told her she'd feel better in the morning.

Bedtime has always been a challenge with Brigid, more so than for the other two by far. While Margaret wouldn't let me leave until she fell asleep, at least she didn't perform acrobatics, sing, kick the blankets off, pull them back on, talk non-stop or roll back and forth for an hour and a half each night. All Margaret ever needed was a round of lullabies. Patricia was baby done right. You could put her in bed, tell her a story or sing a song then say goodnight. She'd often get up, usually after I'd turned the light out and left, but she stayed in her room and would go to sleep on her own. But Brigid is a horse of a different color. I suppose what makes it harder on me is the fact that she's in a toddler bed, not a twin bed, so I'm sitting on the floor this whole time, patting her back, telling her to go to sleep, telling her I'll come back and check on her later, to which she rebels violently and loudly. I know the Ferber method would have me leaving her to scream for a few minutes and systematically return until she's asleep, but this kid would put Ferber in the nuthouse. She doesn't give up. I know. I've tried. And at what point do you say it's just cruel to leave a kid screaming and crying so long and so hard that they make themselves sick? So, I sit and I pat her back and tell her to go to sleep, and sing her songs and can expect to creep out of her room about 9:50 p.m. most nights. And when she tells me she's sick and "frowing" up, I'll make sure that she's not and then take my own advice: I'll feel better in the morning.

We're Off and Running

It is, in fact, July all of the sudden and we’re gearing up for a busy month. Brigid is officially out of Sibley for the summer, and she’s so far been having a good time with Margaret and Patricia. She has, however, been having meltdowns more often and I think part of it is because she’s not in a regular schedule like Sibley and she doesn’t nap like she does at Sibley.

The last weekend in June, Daddy braved it alone with Brigid at the lake while Margaret, Patricia and I organized the books for the St. Peter’s Bazaar book sale. It was rough – the nighttimes are hard because she still doesn’t just go down to sleep. And they had uneven days, but she by and large enjoyed herself and didn’t ask for Mommy once. Meanwhile, the girls and I worked long hours organizing a couple thousand books for the sale. At 50 cents and a dollar a piece, we sold quite a few, taking in almost $890 – another record. And it’s pure profit because everything is donated.

Jack took all three girls up to the lake for a couple nights later in the week, leaving me without a car but with a reliable bicycle. I rode to work those days and managed to get some scrapbook pages done in the evenings. It was very quiet at home, and I missed the family’s presence in the house. But they had a good time even though it rained on and off the entire time they were there. The girls rode a bit, they swam a lot. Brigid was in the water all the time and really enjoyed jumping and sliding off the bouncy dock. Our Fourth of July weekend was mixed. I had to work at the Lake Placid Horse Show, so I took Margaret with me while Jack stayed home with Patricia and Brigid. He had to work at a street drive for the community garden, and Patricia kept an eye on the baby during the couple hours he was standing at an intersection asking drivers for spare change. Margaret and I hung out at the horse show grounds while it poured, only to find out right at show time that they cancelled it until the next morning. Alas, I was unable to return at that time. So we turned around and came home again.

Jack took the girls – all three of them – to watch fireworks while I went to the Press to work on my calendar. I could hear the fireworks from home later. Sunday was a beautifully sunny day. There’s no rhyme or reason to the summer this year.

Margaret and Patricia decided to do Summer Safari after all and had their first day today. They’re going to do “Godspell” this year, and they’re very, very excited. So they’ll be at the theater every morning until 11:30 straight up until performance day on July 23. Then we’ll be on the road the following day for our Cape Cod vacation. It will be here before we know it. In the middle of all this, Jack and I will try to get the girls up to the lake so they can get some riding in. Of course, once we’re back from Cape Cod, they’ll be able to spend longer stretches of time up there as well. It’s shaping up to be a busy summer indeed.