Asserting Her Assertiveness

A friend of mine who keeps a blog on his daughter, who is five months older than Brigid (their daughter, not my friend), started using the term "assertive" to describe her after determining the word "bossy" is usually used for females, therefore making it unfairly gender specific. I applaud their efforts to neutralize their gender-based world because it has to start somewhere, and we parents are the first contact our kids have to understanding and changing the outside world. However, the word "bossy" is the best one I can find to describe what Brigid has become. I call her "Bossy McBossy," so, with an apologetic nod to Adina's dad, Brigid is one bossy broad.

She wants what she wants when she wants it. If we're just sitting down to dinner and she decides it's time for a bike ride, she'll announce in the loudest voice possible that "Brigid go for bike ride!" But once isn't enough. She'll repeat the order, over and over. If she decides something belongs to her, she'll scream at you "NO! MINE!" She has no concept of patience yet, and my own concept is truly being tested. If you interrupt her when she's focused on something else, she'll scream at you. But then in the blink of an eye she is happy and joyful and giving you lots of hugs.

Last night, after she announced in her very loud and persistent voice that she wanted to go on a bike ride not long after we sat down to dinner -- on the back porch so the neighbors could hear -- Jack did, indeed, take her when we were all done. When they returned, she insisted it was time for a bath and had a mini-meltdown. It was my intention to take the girls for ice cream after Jack went back to work, and that dissuaded her from her tunnel-vision tantrum about the bath, until we got in the car. Then she started again. When we got to the ice cream place, which is only open in the summer, she perked up and had some of her baby cone and then decided she'd rather have Patricia's. She proceeded to hit Patricia, who patiently was sitting beside her offering her bites. I told Patricia to sit in the far back of the van out of arm's reach. Brigid objected, but I calmly told Brigid no one wanted to sit by her if she kept hitting them.

I really pushed my luck by taking them all to Wal-Mart after because I had to pick up a couple things. She had a major melt-down that no amount of cajoling or fish viewing in the pet department or ultimate time outs would appease. I whisked her out of there and once we were in the car on the way home, she said (in that little-kid hyperventillating voice) "Brigid is so happy!" She had her bath, during which time she melted down again, only to perk up with the promise of the movie, "Babe," which she has really started to enjoy. It was obvious not long into the movie that she was just too tired. With very little opposition, I was able to get her into bed.

So Bossy McBossy may just need more sleep. But then, don't we all?? I know I'd be in a better mood.

Taking a Vacation is Exhausting

Well, we've packed a lot of livin' in the last couple of weeks. Our Cape Cod get-away was too short-lived but very enjoyable. Reminded us why we love going out there. First we had an overnight visit with my friend Kathleen and her family in White River Junction, Vt., and got up the next morning to carry on to Cape Cod, fully loaded with kayak, three bikes, gear, bags, three girls, Mom and Dad. I can't imagine what we would have done if we were staying at the Cape for our customary two weeks instead of just the five nights.

Cape Cod was different for us this year in another way: we didn't stay in a cottage but rather at a motel, and instead of Wellfleet we stayed in Orleans. The motel, the Gov. Prence Inn, must have been something in its day -- 40 years ago. But, it was affordable, large enough to fit an Aero bed in and it had a decent pool. I missed Wellfleet, but Orleans had its own benefits. We had glorious weather the entire time, unlike, I'm told, what they endured back in Plattsburgh. We spent days at the ocean beach and the town bay beach, we went to Provencetown for an afternoon so Margaret could get her fix of salt water taffy at the candy store/shell shop. (Cabot's on Commercial Street. It's the best). We promised Margaret she could eat the taffy since she was scheduled to get her braces off a couple weeks later. (More on that later).



We had our inaugural dinner at the Lobster Shanty in Eastham and Brigid was a pain but truly enjoyed the lobster boat where she could touch the "monsters." We ended up getting her a large rubber "monster" at one of the souvenier shops on Route 6 in South Wellfleet and she carried it with her constantly.



Jack was able to go out kayaking a few mornings, and he and Patricia took a ranger-led tour of Great Island, which we've done in the past but wanted to do again. Brigid was not cooperating, and Margaret was getting a migraine, so the three of us drove around in the air conditioning of the car. The baby fell asleep, so we just sat at Mayo Beach and watched the bay until it was time to retrieve Jack and Patricia from the Great Island parking lot. We took the girls to the Mayo Beach playground where Brigid had a great time on the equipment.

Square dancing wasn't as fun as it's been in the past because they had to change venues from the pier, under construction, to the Mayo Beach parking lot. The old guy who had been calling for years wasn't there -- who knows, we've not been back since 2004. He may be doing the grand right and left in the sky. The two new people doing the calling weren't so good. And, again, Brigid was less than cooperative. Maybe next year it will be different.

An unexpected event was my spending an hour at a Midas Shop getting a new front tire. The day we were going to Provencetown Jack noticed a four-inch gash in the treads of the front driver's side tire, so I had to take the car in while they took a bike ride and played in the pool.

I guess the way I would sum up the Cape Cod experience this year is that in years past, when we'd be there for two weeks in our cottage in Wellfleet, we were living there. This year, we were visiting. So I hope we can go back to living there next summer.

We went to Boston for the night on our way home, dropping our stuff off at the Marriott in Burlington, Mass., and taking the commuter rail into North Station. Brigid was thrilled and kept saying, "Brigid on the train!" We went to the Children's Museum for a while, but she wasn't that into it. She preferred instead to just run around like a maniac. Again, perhaps she was just too young. We ended up at Quincy Market and Durgin Park for dinner. A quick train ride home and the girls went in the hotel pool for a while.

We got an in-room movie for them and then Jack and I went downstairs for a date in the pub. A leisurely drive back home followed the next day. What was really nice is we had another week to look forward to up at the lake.

We didn't have such good weather, however, for the second week as we did on the Cape. It rained most every day, although it tended to clear late in the afternoon. The girls -- all three of them -- rode every day and Brigid expecially loved riding and visiting the horses. Another Downs equestrien is in the making. We took the girls to the Franklin County Fair one day, and Margaret and I had to go into Plattsburgh early in the week so she could have her final impressions made at the orthodontist. This was in preparation for having her braces off.

I got a lot of writing done on my book, and otherwise, we just kind of hung around. It was very difficult returning to work on Monday, prompting me to observe that work serves as an interruption of vacation. Brigid had no difficulty getting back into the swing of things at the child care center -- in fact, throughout our two weeks off she kept asking about Sally Bubbles and all the other teachers and friends, so it wasn't entirely out of sight, out of mind with her.

The Monday back, Margaret had her big day -- off came the braces and on went the permanent retainer. In addition to the retainer, they attached a fake tooth to take the place left by the space her braces made in anticipation of a permanent implant later, when her jaw has finished growing. The oral surgeon estimates that will be a few years yet. Her smile is beautiful and worth every penny.

NOTE: The photo was taken in the morning, after the braces but before the fake tooth was added in the afternoon.
So that brings us up to date. How long until next July??