Everything Looks Better in the Morning

Brigid is 3 years, 4 months (yesterday) and already she has mastered the technique for gaining sympathy and hopefully a full night in the big bed by saying she's sick. Last night (and a few other nights previously) when it was time for her to go to bed, she started whimpering and moaning, "I'm sick. I'm sick, Mommy. I'm frowing up." (I assure you, she was not). When I didn't respond the way she wanted me to -- whisking her up in my arms and taking her into our bed -- she moaned, "I'm sick. I need to sleep in the big bed." I channeled my own mother and told her she'd feel better in the morning.

Bedtime has always been a challenge with Brigid, more so than for the other two by far. While Margaret wouldn't let me leave until she fell asleep, at least she didn't perform acrobatics, sing, kick the blankets off, pull them back on, talk non-stop or roll back and forth for an hour and a half each night. All Margaret ever needed was a round of lullabies. Patricia was baby done right. You could put her in bed, tell her a story or sing a song then say goodnight. She'd often get up, usually after I'd turned the light out and left, but she stayed in her room and would go to sleep on her own. But Brigid is a horse of a different color. I suppose what makes it harder on me is the fact that she's in a toddler bed, not a twin bed, so I'm sitting on the floor this whole time, patting her back, telling her to go to sleep, telling her I'll come back and check on her later, to which she rebels violently and loudly. I know the Ferber method would have me leaving her to scream for a few minutes and systematically return until she's asleep, but this kid would put Ferber in the nuthouse. She doesn't give up. I know. I've tried. And at what point do you say it's just cruel to leave a kid screaming and crying so long and so hard that they make themselves sick? So, I sit and I pat her back and tell her to go to sleep, and sing her songs and can expect to creep out of her room about 9:50 p.m. most nights. And when she tells me she's sick and "frowing" up, I'll make sure that she's not and then take my own advice: I'll feel better in the morning.